need another drink. this is the easiest way
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
