i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
