Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
