Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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