You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
