so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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