Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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