I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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