the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
