used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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