White coat. Heels.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
