oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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