There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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