So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
