We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
