i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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