Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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