Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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