Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
