she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
