You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
you made out with another girl for some wings
last night I used snow as a chaser
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