Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
