i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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