why didn't you poke me back
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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