Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
