we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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