so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
