I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I need to calm my uterus...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
