does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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