i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
