If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
