return my video game
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
