And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
