There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
