mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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