just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
