My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm both gender and math confused
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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