lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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