Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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