When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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