i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
