Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
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If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.