Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  No...more like a life jacket.

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  (603): Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet? (1-603): No...more like a life jacket. http://tfl.nu/4uwt
  Replies (8) Good night (1413) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought she had blonde hair

  (302): View more from Delaware

  No, Gonorrhea actually

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  (610): I thought she had blonde hair (302): No, Gonorrhea actually http://tfl.nu/3gym
  Replies (6) Good night (549) Bad night (1538)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.

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  (856): so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug. http://tfl.nu/yra7
  Replies (36) Good night (6615) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.

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  (850): I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off. http://tfl.nu/irzu
  Replies (22) Good night (2811) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?

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  (913): ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf? http://tfl.nu/d12x
  Replies (44) Good night (648) Bad night (6590) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever

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  (225): were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever http://tfl.nu/h34v
  Replies (30) Good night (6070) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!

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  (870): At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins! http://tfl.nu/8m62
  Replies (19) Good night (5699) Bad night (521)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.

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  (819): FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party. http://tfl.nu/3wga
  Replies (37) Good night (829) Bad night (5129) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.

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  (402): I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange. http://tfl.nu/kq15
  Replies (3) Good night (3246) Bad night (1086) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME

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  (443): EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME http://tfl.nu/5t87
  Replies (2) Good night (1926) Bad night (621) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  Show him your tits if he says no

  (1-209): View more from California

  They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.

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  (209): Show him your tits if he says no (1-209): They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits. http://tfl.nu/0j62
  Replies (8) Good night (1963) Bad night (790)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous

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  (785): I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous http://tfl.nu/ltir
  Replies (14) Good night (1077) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  No shame in my game.

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  (701): You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills. (320): No shame in my game. http://tfl.nu/4hn7
  Replies (4) Good night (1069) Bad night (354)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.

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  (404): Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become. http://tfl.nu/pcoq
  Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (181) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.

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  (310): I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me. http://tfl.nu/btwi
  Replies (3) Good night (232) Bad night (330) Order T-Shirt

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