You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
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My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
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I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.