My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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