Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
YAS. BRING CRAB.