I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize
