I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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