im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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