do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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