Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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