I hate all girls vehemently.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize