I've blown a few things in my day
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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