So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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