does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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