Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he fucked my hip out of place.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
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My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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