What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize