Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
