Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
this hospital has no fireball
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
